Thank you for visiting! I have currently taken a step back from social media and blogging. But I did want to leave our blog posts about Goldie up here on the site, all other posts have been archived for now. Love Bethany

Saying Goodbye to Goldie

On Monday night, July 20th, Our precious Goldie laid in our arms for the first time as she took her last breaths. These ten days were the most amazing, profound, heartbreaking, and life changing days we’ve ever had and maybe will ever experience. We want to share our story of saying goodbye to our baby girl.

Every morning in the NICU Dr’s and nurses do their rounds and meet outside of Goldie’s room to discuss everything that is happening with her; what medications they are trying, which procedures are being done and what their next course of action is. Since Goldie was in such critical condition, and the cause was still a mystery, there was always a large group there for educational purposes and multiple Neonatologists present to discuss various options of treatment.

David and I usually attended these rounds but on Monday we decided to take advantage of a good night’s sleep and not rush to NICU in the morning. My Dad had been sleeping on a couch in the hospital for the past 4 nights. He woke up and attended rounds and then afterward walked down the road to the place where we were staying. He sat down in our room. Fighting tears, he told us that at today’s rounds the doctors agreed on the fact that Goldie’s condition had only gotten worse over the last 10 days. Her kidneys showed no improvement or much sign of functioning at all, recent X-rays showed more signs of bleeding in the brain, and we were still in the place of having to fully support her heart & lungs, while her pain continued to increase. All of this lead the Doctors to present the question “how long do we want to keep supporting this little deteriorating body that is living in discomfort?” These facts weren’t news to us. We’ve known all along the state of her body and it’s progress (or lack of) each day, but  of course we clung to a bit of hope that things might miraculously turn around.

Later in the afternoon the doctors sat down with David and I to tell us that they didn’t see Goldie recovering. David and I had agreed the day before that when/if the doctors ever thought that moving to palliative care was in Goldie’s best interest then we would trust them in that. Once we knew that they didn’t see Goldie’s body recovering, we felt it would be selfish to keep a heart beating in such a sweet, innocent body if it wasn’t leading to her getting better. They told us that it was completely up to us how long we wanted to continue care for Goldie, whether it be hours, days or weeks. David and I came to the decision to withdraw care that night, as soon as our immediate family could all be there. We called the family and told them to start driving. We went through the process of deciding & telling the doctors how we wanted that moment to play out, and all the other hard & emotional decisions that needed to be made for after Goldie passed.

David, Poppy & I spent the afternoon basically pacing, grieving, and waiting. Our parents & siblings had all arrived by 7:30 pm and we all sat in a room outside the NICU, praying together through tears. David’s brother Matt read out Psalm 139 before the family went in couple by couple to say goodbye to little Goldie for the last time.

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”

even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them…”

After our family all said their goodbyes, David and I made our way to Goldie’s dimly lit, machine filled room for one last time. I sat down as the nurses switched over her respirator to one more mobile so she could be transferred from the bed to my arms, and they increased her dose of pain medication so she could lay with us comfortably. Since I laid my eyes on Goldie 10 days earlier I ached for the moment she would first lay in my arms, no matter what circumstance it was under.

I sat there crying with the feeling of a gaping hole in the centre of my body, like my limbs could give out at any moment. The nurse placed her in my arms (still receiving oxygen & medicines) and I began to cry out, and held her so close to fill that empty space I felt every time I looked at her. I could barely see her face my eyes were so full of tears. David and I stroked her body, kissed her head, prayed over her, and spoke comforting words to her; telling her to rest, to go home where she would be free of all the pain and suffering. The nurses then helped transfer Goldie with all her tubes to David and we spent more time feeling her little chest breathe before we let the nurses know that we were ready to remove the oxygen. I cuddled her close to me as they shut off all the machines. I placed my hand on her swollen, bruised, soft chest and felt her heart continue to beat for about 2 minutes. In those minutes even through her sedation she opened her eyes. Each time she looked up at us I felt Goldie & God saying through those eyes “I’m okay. I’m going home.”

Then that heart beat beneath my hand stopped, her body was still and overcome with peace & rest. I cried over her until I could get the words out to David that she was gone. We held her hands and her toes, touched her soft lips, tongue, nose and eyes. Her face was filled with more beauty than I have ever seen in a face. I no longer saw her cuts, bruises, blisters, bandages, and tubes. I just saw a purely angelic, beautiful, peaceful baby face with Poppy’s nose, pursed lips and a forehead covered in soft blonde newborn peach fuzz. We went between sobbing, and being completely in awe of the experience. We felt so close to Heaven and God’s presence. It was unearthly to feel my child’s soul leave and meet Jesus.

Once Goldie had passed we both felt like it was no longer her, it was just the symbol of her. But that symbol was so hard to let go of, knowing that when I let go of her I would never hold her again. I would never walk through the NICU hall and come lay my head on her bed just to be near her. The empty space that I was pressing her tiny body into, would remain there without her. We sat a little longer in Goldie & God’s presence to mourn, talk to Goldie and David sang the words “It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

On our drive home we sat silent in a strange place of feeling heartbroken and completely in awe of what we had just experienced. We were overwhelmed with peace, knowing that it was Goldie’s time to go home, and joy for our baby girl. Goldie spent her ten days on earth in a body that was so sick and now she was free from all the pain of this earth and being embraced by God, rejoicing in Heaven. I smile for her just typing that.

This 10 day journey was the greatest blessing we have ever received. Constantly playing in the back of my mind is “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” I truly feel blessed that God took our hearts & broke them, making us changed people for his purpose, taking us so much deeper in our faith than we could have ever done on our own. Not once in this experience did we feel betrayed, abandoned, confused, or angry. The “why” the doctors are looking for doesn’t bother us as much as most would expect. While I was pregnant I held my stomach each day and as I prayed for our growing baby I always included “I pray she would be healthy, but more than that that you would create her exactly as you want to for your purpose.” and God did just that. I don’t try to imagine what life would be like if Goldie grew up, or what kind of little girl she would have become because I believe that God had already written each and everyday of Goldie’s life. There is no 10 year old Goldie that ever would have existed to imagine in our family, there only ever was 10 day old Goldie. She came to us briefly, changed lives, and filled her full purpose on earth.

We will forever miss and ache for our baby Goldie. She will always feel like our child and the 4th member of our family. Thinking about transitioning back to normal life is really hard for us. We don’t want to feel like all the little details about Goldie and this special time are being left behind or forgotten. When people ask how many kids we have we don’t want to have to respond “1”. But, thankful doesn’t even begin to describe how much we appreciate the experience of both her time on earth and all the unknown experiences this will lead to in our lives.

A film generously created by M&Him http://mandhim.com/ documenting the time spent in the NICU with our sweet baby Goldie.

Read the story of Goldie’s life here https://bethanymenzel.com/blog/2015/7/14/welcome-goldie-bloom-menzel

Thank you so much to the talented & generous M&Him Photography for capturing this special time for our family in the NICU, having these memories means so much to us. 

We also want to deeply thank everyone in this supportive online community for your prayers and love through this entire journey. Even though we haven’t taken a lot of time to respond we read and appreciate your comments & emails, xo.


Read Part 1 of Goldie’s story “Welcome Goldie Bloom” 
Read Part 2 of Goldie’s story “Goldie Bloom – 1 Week Update”
Read Part 4 of Goldie’s story “Goldie’s Service” 


106 Comments

  1. July 23, 2015 / 5:08 pm

    My husband and I lost our two-year-old daughter a year and a half ago, and someone showed me your beautiful IG feed. I am so sorry and hurt for your beautiful family! I love that you’re able to have pictures of the time you had together! For us, losing our daughter was the first "real" encounter with death we had ever had and the world felt, and often feels lonely and frightening like you’re a foreigner. Our grief will be the same and different and you will be on my mind so much. Crazy how beauty and searing pain, suffering and joy can run parallel. Keep sharing–it’s good for you and for so many ?

  2. July 23, 2015 / 5:08 pm

    My husband and I lost our two-year-old daughter a year and a half ago, and someone showed me your beautiful IG feed. I am so sorry and hurt for your beautiful family! I love that you’re able to have pictures of the time you had together! For us, losing our daughter was the first "real" encounter with death we had ever had and the world felt, and often feels lonely and frightening like you’re a foreigner. Our grief will be the same and different and you will be on my mind so much. Crazy how beauty and searing pain, suffering and joy can run parallel. Keep sharing–it’s good for you and for so many ?

  3. July 23, 2015 / 5:08 pm

    My husband and I lost our two-year-old daughter a year and a half ago, and someone showed me your beautiful IG feed. I am so sorry and hurt for your beautiful family! I love that you’re able to have pictures of the time you had together! For us, losing our daughter was the first "real" encounter with death we had ever had and the world felt, and often feels lonely and frightening like you’re a foreigner. Our grief will be the same and different and you will be on my mind so much. Crazy how beauty and searing pain, suffering and joy can run parallel. Keep sharing–it’s good for you and for so many ?

  4. Jenna
    July 23, 2015 / 5:10 pm

    This is so beautiful for you and Dave to share your heartbreaking story with us. That video brought me to tears to see you and your family so positive during this tough time. Sending all my prayers and love <3 xo thank you again for sharing

  5. July 23, 2015 / 5:13 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. Sending you lots of love & prayers. xox

  6. July 23, 2015 / 5:13 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. Sending you lots of love & prayers. xox

  7. July 23, 2015 / 5:13 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. Sending you lots of love & prayers. xox

  8. July 23, 2015 / 5:21 pm

    the bravery you had to write this and the peace you’ve had thoughtout this journey is truly inspiring, beautiful and deeply moving. i’m incredibly grateful God has given you such peace and the assurance that his hand is on your family through all of this. i know it’s tempting sometimes to be bitter or angry at God for taking something so perfect from you. but remember, as you already know, she was never yours. God sent her to you and your husband for a time to teach you and show you just how much he loves you both, and now she’s back with her creator.
    i’m grateful and praying for you guys.

  9. July 23, 2015 / 5:21 pm

    the bravery you had to write this and the peace you’ve had thoughtout this journey is truly inspiring, beautiful and deeply moving. i’m incredibly grateful God has given you such peace and the assurance that his hand is on your family through all of this. i know it’s tempting sometimes to be bitter or angry at God for taking something so perfect from you. but remember, as you already know, she was never yours. God sent her to you and your husband for a time to teach you and show you just how much he loves you both, and now she’s back with her creator.
    i’m grateful and praying for you guys.

  10. July 23, 2015 / 5:21 pm

    the bravery you had to write this and the peace you’ve had thoughtout this journey is truly inspiring, beautiful and deeply moving. i’m incredibly grateful God has given you such peace and the assurance that his hand is on your family through all of this. i know it’s tempting sometimes to be bitter or angry at God for taking something so perfect from you. but remember, as you already know, she was never yours. God sent her to you and your husband for a time to teach you and show you just how much he loves you both, and now she’s back with her creator.
    i’m grateful and praying for you guys.

  11. Adeline
    July 23, 2015 / 5:27 pm

    From a French reader (sorry for my English)
    Hello, Bethany, David and Poppy. I read your blog and am on instagram for some time now you … I do not usually write comments but your pain touched me deeply. There are no words to express the loss of a child (I am mother of a little girl of 4 years). My thoughts are with you in this trial and I enclose a text that comforted me when I lost my father a few years ago already.

    "The Book of Life

    Do not bow to the so-called fate.
    Take in the event that strikes us which is a thrust force for us, for others.

    Not to suffer what seems to crush us but to keep both hands this panel is for us to lift at arms. Wanting to.
    To dismiss the heavy slab to finally see the sky.
    And each of us can see the sky.

    Life: each of us is a new experience, personal. And all experience, hard or soft, man must draw from the well.

    There are no events that is vain in life.
    No fear, no test that are useless.
    Provided we do not contemplate them, fascinated, as is still prey to a snake, but we will serve them as a support to go further.

    Martin Gray"

  12. brittany
    July 23, 2015 / 5:28 pm

    we are praying for you and for your beautiful family. sending you lots of love xoxo

  13. Katie Cheesman
    July 23, 2015 / 5:31 pm

    Having just had a baby, this touched my heart deeply. Your example of faith in God is so incredibly inspiring. I can’t imagine going through something like this, but your positive attitude and outlook help me understand that it is possible if I were ever to face something so heartbreaking. Thank you for touching my heart. I will keep praying for you and your perfect little family.

  14. July 23, 2015 / 5:36 pm

    Praying for you and your little family. I’ve seen this happen to a few families I know in this last year and it breaks my heart. I really admire your strength in this, and the fact that you can share it with such poise. Isn’t it great to know that God was right there waiting for her to come back home into his loving arms? I also think it’s great you took pictures and made that little video to always remember those days. My heart goes out to you!!

    Brooke

  15. July 23, 2015 / 5:36 pm

    Praying for you and your little family. I’ve seen this happen to a few families I know in this last year and it breaks my heart. I really admire your strength in this, and the fact that you can share it with such poise. Isn’t it great to know that God was right there waiting for her to come back home into his loving arms? I also think it’s great you took pictures and made that little video to always remember those days. My heart goes out to you!!

    Brooke

  16. July 23, 2015 / 5:36 pm

    Praying for you and your little family. I’ve seen this happen to a few families I know in this last year and it breaks my heart. I really admire your strength in this, and the fact that you can share it with such poise. Isn’t it great to know that God was right there waiting for her to come back home into his loving arms? I also think it’s great you took pictures and made that little video to always remember those days. My heart goes out to you!!

    Brooke

  17. July 23, 2015 / 5:47 pm

    I don’t think I have ever cried so much! I will be praying for your family through this hard time! also know that God has a perfect plan for you no matter what! you are an inspiration to stay strong, be brave, and endore through hardships! Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil to give you a future and hope. I hope you stay strong in the Lord and j will be praying for you! May the Lord bless your heart and your family!

  18. July 23, 2015 / 5:47 pm

    I don’t think I have ever cried so much! I will be praying for your family through this hard time! also know that God has a perfect plan for you no matter what! you are an inspiration to stay strong, be brave, and endore through hardships! Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil to give you a future and hope. I hope you stay strong in the Lord and j will be praying for you! May the Lord bless your heart and your family!

  19. July 23, 2015 / 5:47 pm

    I don’t think I have ever cried so much! I will be praying for your family through this hard time! also know that God has a perfect plan for you no matter what! you are an inspiration to stay strong, be brave, and endore through hardships! Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil to give you a future and hope. I hope you stay strong in the Lord and j will be praying for you! May the Lord bless your heart and your family!

  20. July 23, 2015 / 5:53 pm

    I’ve been a reader since the beginning of T&T blog and have loved your spirit about life and God. You once wrote a post while you were pregnant with Poppy about how you wish she could stay in the safety of your womb forever, without being exposed to the sin and pain of this world.

    This post has traces of that similar beautiful heart for your girl. I don’t know if you remember writing it, but it touched me. Praying for a sense of peace in you that Goldie is with Jesus and that she is forever safe from pain and sin, even through the grief you are experiencing.

    Madison

  21. July 23, 2015 / 5:53 pm

    I’ve been a reader since the beginning of T&T blog and have loved your spirit about life and God. You once wrote a post while you were pregnant with Poppy about how you wish she could stay in the safety of your womb forever, without being exposed to the sin and pain of this world.

    This post has traces of that similar beautiful heart for your girl. I don’t know if you remember writing it, but it touched me. Praying for a sense of peace in you that Goldie is with Jesus and that she is forever safe from pain and sin, even through the grief you are experiencing.

    Madison

  22. July 23, 2015 / 5:53 pm

    I’ve been a reader since the beginning of T&T blog and have loved your spirit about life and God. You once wrote a post while you were pregnant with Poppy about how you wish she could stay in the safety of your womb forever, without being exposed to the sin and pain of this world.

    This post has traces of that similar beautiful heart for your girl. I don’t know if you remember writing it, but it touched me. Praying for a sense of peace in you that Goldie is with Jesus and that she is forever safe from pain and sin, even through the grief you are experiencing.

    Madison

  23. July 23, 2015 / 5:56 pm

    My heart breaks for you and your family, but your strength and beautiful words about your sweet Goldie and your family’s journey have touched me deeply. I have a young daughter and am pregnant with a son and I can’t begin to imagine your pain or how you’ve managed to face this loss with such grace. Your daughters are incredibly blessed to have been born to such loving, amazing parents. Sending you all my love, strength and prayers as you mend your hearts. Bless you sweet Bethany, David, Poppy and Goldie.

  24. July 23, 2015 / 5:56 pm

    My heart breaks for you and your family, but your strength and beautiful words about your sweet Goldie and your family’s journey have touched me deeply. I have a young daughter and am pregnant with a son and I can’t begin to imagine your pain or how you’ve managed to face this loss with such grace. Your daughters are incredibly blessed to have been born to such loving, amazing parents. Sending you all my love, strength and prayers as you mend your hearts. Bless you sweet Bethany, David, Poppy and Goldie.

  25. July 23, 2015 / 5:56 pm

    My heart breaks for you and your family, but your strength and beautiful words about your sweet Goldie and your family’s journey have touched me deeply. I have a young daughter and am pregnant with a son and I can’t begin to imagine your pain or how you’ve managed to face this loss with such grace. Your daughters are incredibly blessed to have been born to such loving, amazing parents. Sending you all my love, strength and prayers as you mend your hearts. Bless you sweet Bethany, David, Poppy and Goldie.

  26. Marie
    July 23, 2015 / 5:56 pm

    My heart is heavy for your family, but I’m so glad that you and Goldie have found some peace. It sounds like she was born into exactly the right family. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us.

  27. July 23, 2015 / 6:03 pm

    You’re an inspiration Bethany. Praying for you, you’re family and you’re little Goldie in Heaven. xoxo

  28. July 23, 2015 / 6:03 pm

    You’re an inspiration Bethany. Praying for you, you’re family and you’re little Goldie in Heaven. xoxo

  29. July 23, 2015 / 6:03 pm

    You’re an inspiration Bethany. Praying for you, you’re family and you’re little Goldie in Heaven. xoxo

  30. Caitlyn Baker
    July 23, 2015 / 6:27 pm

    Prayers for your sweet family. God has your little girl in his arms, she no longer feels pain and will be watching over your family!

  31. July 23, 2015 / 6:32 pm

    I cannot imagine the anguish of losing a child. You and your family have demonstrated such grace throughout Goldie’s life. I cry for you and have been thinking of you often since her birth. I hope you continue to find peace in the coming days and months.

  32. July 23, 2015 / 6:32 pm

    I cannot imagine the anguish of losing a child. You and your family have demonstrated such grace throughout Goldie’s life. I cry for you and have been thinking of you often since her birth. I hope you continue to find peace in the coming days and months.

  33. July 23, 2015 / 6:32 pm

    I cannot imagine the anguish of losing a child. You and your family have demonstrated such grace throughout Goldie’s life. I cry for you and have been thinking of you often since her birth. I hope you continue to find peace in the coming days and months.

  34. Rebekah Stuber
    July 23, 2015 / 6:35 pm

    I have been praying for your family since you first shared Goldie’s birth story. I have been so touched and so grieved but mostly so encouraged by you. I cannot imagine all the emotions you and David have been going through, but you are so right when you say that God wrote Goldie’s days to be just as they were. I am so encouraged by the way you have let it all wash over you for His purpose. God wrote Goldie’s story to fulfill the perfect purpose of His glory, and you are fulfilling that purpose also by sharing with us so openly and being so vulnerable. God is being so glorified through Goldie’s life and through your testimony, and I am so grateful for your faithfulness. I continue to pray for your family’s peace and wisdom as you figure out what moving forward looks like and that God will continue to use Goldie to draw others to Himself.

  35. Lisa Block
    July 23, 2015 / 6:38 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to God and to your daughter. I know I’m a stranger to you, but I was so touched by what you wrote. In your time of pain, God is as close as your own breath. May He be always that close as you walk through this time.

  36. July 23, 2015 / 6:56 pm

    Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! I have never read such a beautiful testimony to the incredible grace He extends to us in our darkest moments. I can’t remember when I have felt such joy amidst grief… your experience has touched me deeply, and in that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to witness the brief, but beautiful life of Goldie Bloom. Praying God’s comforting arms surround you, David and Poppy through this loss. You are loved.

  37. July 23, 2015 / 6:56 pm

    Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! I have never read such a beautiful testimony to the incredible grace He extends to us in our darkest moments. I can’t remember when I have felt such joy amidst grief… your experience has touched me deeply, and in that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to witness the brief, but beautiful life of Goldie Bloom. Praying God’s comforting arms surround you, David and Poppy through this loss. You are loved.

  38. July 23, 2015 / 6:56 pm

    Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! I have never read such a beautiful testimony to the incredible grace He extends to us in our darkest moments. I can’t remember when I have felt such joy amidst grief… your experience has touched me deeply, and in that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to witness the brief, but beautiful life of Goldie Bloom. Praying God’s comforting arms surround you, David and Poppy through this loss. You are loved.

  39. July 23, 2015 / 7:14 pm

    My heart aches for you and tears flow for your pain. Your baby girl is precious! I will pray for you today and in the days ahead. May Jesus wrap his loving arms around you and comfort you. ❤️ Thank you for your courage!

  40. July 23, 2015 / 7:14 pm

    My heart aches for you and tears flow for your pain. Your baby girl is precious! I will pray for you today and in the days ahead. May Jesus wrap his loving arms around you and comfort you. ❤️ Thank you for your courage!

  41. July 23, 2015 / 7:14 pm

    My heart aches for you and tears flow for your pain. Your baby girl is precious! I will pray for you today and in the days ahead. May Jesus wrap his loving arms around you and comfort you. ❤️ Thank you for your courage!

  42. Janine
    July 23, 2015 / 7:26 pm

    I am so humbled by your story and your ability to trust in God in such a trying time. A song that was brought to mind after I read this was "I want to stroll over heaven with you" by Alan Jackson, my Grandma used to sing it to me when I was a little girl. Praying for you and your family.

  43. Sharon
    July 23, 2015 / 7:44 pm

    Amen to your tremendous faith and trust in the Lord’s plan. May He continue to envelope you, David, Poppy and your family with peace, comfort and the reassurance of a home not of this Earth. Sending all the love and prayers your way.

  44. Rico
    July 23, 2015 / 8:06 pm

    Just want to say that your story is very touching and I wish you comfort in your memories.

  45. July 23, 2015 / 8:26 pm

    I don’t have word to express the emotions I am feeling right now. Crying for the pain from the gaping whole that is Goldie’s place in your heart, yet rejoicing that through this trial your faith remains ever strong! I paid for Goldie, and your family, as did many others, and I am glad to hear that through this you are strong. May the prayers that are going up for you be like the arms of the people who held Moses’ arm up, keeping you strong when you feel like being weak. i hope you know the power of Goldie’s life will impact people for generations to come, and the legacy her too short life leaves behind is more than most could ever hope to leave! Praying for you and your family!

  46. July 23, 2015 / 8:26 pm

    I don’t have word to express the emotions I am feeling right now. Crying for the pain from the gaping whole that is Goldie’s place in your heart, yet rejoicing that through this trial your faith remains ever strong! I paid for Goldie, and your family, as did many others, and I am glad to hear that through this you are strong. May the prayers that are going up for you be like the arms of the people who held Moses’ arm up, keeping you strong when you feel like being weak. i hope you know the power of Goldie’s life will impact people for generations to come, and the legacy her too short life leaves behind is more than most could ever hope to leave! Praying for you and your family!

  47. July 23, 2015 / 8:26 pm

    I don’t have word to express the emotions I am feeling right now. Crying for the pain from the gaping whole that is Goldie’s place in your heart, yet rejoicing that through this trial your faith remains ever strong! I paid for Goldie, and your family, as did many others, and I am glad to hear that through this you are strong. May the prayers that are going up for you be like the arms of the people who held Moses’ arm up, keeping you strong when you feel like being weak. i hope you know the power of Goldie’s life will impact people for generations to come, and the legacy her too short life leaves behind is more than most could ever hope to leave! Praying for you and your family!

  48. Rheanna
    July 23, 2015 / 8:28 pm

    Crying and crying at such a beautiful dedication. I’m so so in awe of your strength and faith in God. It honestly instilled more faith in me by just reading. Praying for your family and thinking of Goldie.

  49. July 23, 2015 / 8:30 pm

    I am amazed and so incredibly inspired by the outlook that you and David have on this whole experience. God gives some of us incredibly difficult situations in our lives and we must understand all we can do is learn and grow from these situations. Sending you, David and Poppy good vibes and continually keeping you all in my prayers!

  50. July 23, 2015 / 8:30 pm

    I am amazed and so incredibly inspired by the outlook that you and David have on this whole experience. God gives some of us incredibly difficult situations in our lives and we must understand all we can do is learn and grow from these situations. Sending you, David and Poppy good vibes and continually keeping you all in my prayers!

  51. July 23, 2015 / 8:30 pm

    I am amazed and so incredibly inspired by the outlook that you and David have on this whole experience. God gives some of us incredibly difficult situations in our lives and we must understand all we can do is learn and grow from these situations. Sending you, David and Poppy good vibes and continually keeping you all in my prayers!

  52. Davie
    July 23, 2015 / 8:38 pm

    You guys are incredibly brave, reading this and hearing your family has had to say goodbye to Goldie breaks my heart for all of you.
    Taking your time to trace the ocean of thoughts and feelings has been a gift to every reader here. I pray that the blessings and purpose of staying steadfast in God love through this is revealed to you all.

  53. July 23, 2015 / 8:39 pm

    I was afraid for this update. I am a believer that our souls live beyond our bodies yet the pain of losing your very own child must be unbearable. My heart aches, I am crying but I know Goldie Bloom came to your life for a reason. You are an amazing family. Take good care of one another. Sending love.

  54. Anna D Kart
    July 23, 2015 / 9:05 pm

    I was crying reading your words but I cannot believe how much peace God has given you! I love your words and how He has been comforting you. May God bless your family and bring joy once again to your broken hearts! It’s a horrible thing to live through a passing of your child but she’s home with her Heavenly father who will comfort her and she will know no pain.
    Blessings!

    <A href="http://www.happymedley.blogspot.com/">Happy Medley</A>

  55. Rhea
    July 23, 2015 / 9:12 pm

    I have never met you guys or know you for that matter but I came across this article that Taelor posted and it brought me on my knees and to tears. You guys are incredible having endured all this the last 10 days and come through still praising and testifying His name! May you continue to testify,praise, heal, and live in His hands!

  56. Amanda
    July 23, 2015 / 9:32 pm

    Bethany, I have fond memories of playing with your husband when we were kids at Green Bay. When I discovered your blog I started following but never commented. I just want you to know that you are in my prayers, along with your family and David’s and our church (we are connected to camp) is praying for you too. Thank you for sharing such a personal story with so many strangers. Your faith – and your boldness to share it in such a devastating time – is inspiring. Goldie’s life certainly has far-reaching impacts as so many are able to read your words.

  57. Carla
    July 23, 2015 / 9:47 pm

    Thank you for sharing Goldie with us.

  58. Olivia Ellingson
    July 23, 2015 / 10:42 pm

    I’ve never met you or David but your family has been in my heart and prayers as I lay in bed each night. My heart absolutely shatters for you. May the peace of God that transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Love and prayers to your family.

  59. July 23, 2015 / 11:45 pm

    "It was unearthly to feel my child’s soul leave and meet Jesus."

    My goodness…
    So beautiful and so sad. My heart aches for and with you all. You have been on my mind endlessly and I am praying for you. And I keep singing the song "Morning Light" by Josh Garrels whenever I think of you. Here is just a bit of the lyrics:

    There’s a place, a garden for the young
    To laugh and dance in safety among
    The shimmering light in the garden of peace

    But every good gift comes down from above
    From the Lord of light like a labor of love
    Upon the child who waits for Him

    It’s gonna be alright
    Shake it out and let back in the light
    And joy will come
    Like a bird in the morning sun
    And all will be made well
    And all will be made well
    And all will be made well
    Once again

  60. July 23, 2015 / 11:45 pm

    "It was unearthly to feel my child’s soul leave and meet Jesus."

    My goodness…
    So beautiful and so sad. My heart aches for and with you all. You have been on my mind endlessly and I am praying for you. And I keep singing the song "Morning Light" by Josh Garrels whenever I think of you. Here is just a bit of the lyrics:

    There’s a place, a garden for the young
    To laugh and dance in safety among
    The shimmering light in the garden of peace

    But every good gift comes down from above
    From the Lord of light like a labor of love
    Upon the child who waits for Him

    It’s gonna be alright
    Shake it out and let back in the light
    And joy will come
    Like a bird in the morning sun
    And all will be made well
    And all will be made well
    And all will be made well
    Once again

  61. July 23, 2015 / 11:45 pm

    "It was unearthly to feel my child’s soul leave and meet Jesus."

    My goodness…
    So beautiful and so sad. My heart aches for and with you all. You have been on my mind endlessly and I am praying for you. And I keep singing the song "Morning Light" by Josh Garrels whenever I think of you. Here is just a bit of the lyrics:

    There’s a place, a garden for the young
    To laugh and dance in safety among
    The shimmering light in the garden of peace

    But every good gift comes down from above
    From the Lord of light like a labor of love
    Upon the child who waits for Him

    It’s gonna be alright
    Shake it out and let back in the light
    And joy will come
    Like a bird in the morning sun
    And all will be made well
    And all will be made well
    And all will be made well
    Once again

  62. Catherine
    July 23, 2015 / 11:48 pm

    I have been following closely, praying, and experiencing heartbreak for you and your family. Thank you for your courage in sharing your experience so openly. You have touched and inspired me and I send you my love and deepest condolences.
    Catherine (SoYoung)

  63. Erin
    July 24, 2015 / 12:42 am

    Oh Bethany! My heart truly aches for you and your family. I have been following you on Instagram for years and have been so touched by your story. I am so so sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers!

  64. Victoria
    July 24, 2015 / 12:51 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss Bethany but I’m so proud of the way you and your family handled this tough situation. God bless you! You’re in my prayers.

  65. July 24, 2015 / 1:36 am

    Bethany – I’ve been following your families story the last 10 days so closely. Checking your feed for updates or new ways that I could be praying. I just want to say "thank you" for allowing a community into one of the most vulnerable times. It’s been an honour & a privilege to pray for you & your precious ones. I will continue to be in prayer on this continued journey of healing for you all. You are so loved & cherished by our Maker & it’s brought tears to my eyes reading this beautiful post, on how Goldie Bloom is now with her Maker. Sending hugs & love your way tonight. xoxo -Lizzy

  66. July 24, 2015 / 1:36 am

    Bethany – I’ve been following your families story the last 10 days so closely. Checking your feed for updates or new ways that I could be praying. I just want to say "thank you" for allowing a community into one of the most vulnerable times. It’s been an honour & a privilege to pray for you & your precious ones. I will continue to be in prayer on this continued journey of healing for you all. You are so loved & cherished by our Maker & it’s brought tears to my eyes reading this beautiful post, on how Goldie Bloom is now with her Maker. Sending hugs & love your way tonight. xoxo -Lizzy

  67. July 24, 2015 / 1:36 am

    Bethany – I’ve been following your families story the last 10 days so closely. Checking your feed for updates or new ways that I could be praying. I just want to say "thank you" for allowing a community into one of the most vulnerable times. It’s been an honour & a privilege to pray for you & your precious ones. I will continue to be in prayer on this continued journey of healing for you all. You are so loved & cherished by our Maker & it’s brought tears to my eyes reading this beautiful post, on how Goldie Bloom is now with her Maker. Sending hugs & love your way tonight. xoxo -Lizzy

  68. Paula
    July 24, 2015 / 1:57 am

    My deepest sympathy to you. You have a very special angel in heaven and she will watch over all of you. Many years ago we lost our first born just 8 hours after his birth. I know what you are going through and you will all be in my prayers. I am so glad that you find such comfort in God, that will help you through. I hope in time, when you are ready, that you will be blessed with more children. Your little Goldie will always be close to you in your heart and not a day will go by, ever, that you will not of think of her. God bless you, Paula

  69. Susie
    July 24, 2015 / 2:04 am

    You are so unbelievably strong and show so much grace in such a hard time. Thank you for sharing your journey I am praying fo you and your family!

  70. Lauren
    July 24, 2015 / 2:19 am

    I am so sorry for you loss and so inspired by your light and courage moving forward into this new life. Sending you and your family hugs with no words.

  71. July 24, 2015 / 3:00 am

    You are the most inspiring and beautiful family. I am so sorry for your loss.

  72. July 24, 2015 / 3:00 am

    You are the most inspiring and beautiful family. I am so sorry for your loss.

  73. July 24, 2015 / 3:00 am

    You are the most inspiring and beautiful family. I am so sorry for your loss.

  74. Tanya N
    July 24, 2015 / 3:05 am

    Deepest sympathy to you and your family. I am in awe of your courage and grace during this unimaginabley difficult time. Thank you for sharing your experience, it and Goldie have touched touched my heart.

  75. Stephanie
    July 24, 2015 / 3:28 am

    Goldie is a beautiful, sweet little baby. She is blessed beyond measure to have wonderful parents who trust in the Father. From one mama to another. Xxxx

  76. Stephanie A
    July 24, 2015 / 3:31 am

    Wow. My heart aches for you and your family. I cannot imagine egat you must e all feeling but I know this much- your strength and faith in God is incredible. We are standing with you and praying for you and your family

  77. July 24, 2015 / 3:47 am

    Prayers are being sent your way from Austin, Texas. Your story and sturdy faith are truly inspiring.

  78. July 24, 2015 / 3:47 am

    Prayers are being sent your way from Austin, Texas. Your story and sturdy faith are truly inspiring.

  79. July 24, 2015 / 3:47 am

    Prayers are being sent your way from Austin, Texas. Your story and sturdy faith are truly inspiring.

  80. Kim
    July 24, 2015 / 3:59 am

    Bethany.
    I want you to know that because of your sweet angel and your beautiful story I sit here worshipping our God tonight when I otherwise would not be.
    Thank you Goldie. I came across your story and it has opened the floodgates of my heart. I sit here in tears thinking of you all and thanking the Lord for your faith, courage and beautiful light. Your little life has truly touched mine Goldie. I can’t wait to meet you one day. Thank you.

  81. Alona Lorenz
    July 24, 2015 / 5:01 am

    Bethany,
    My heart aches for your loss. Goldie will not be forgotten and her life was full of much love and purpose. She has reminded me to hold my babies tighter and appreciate each moment I have with them. I read your blog and Instagram and wanted to thank you for sharing your life story. My thoughts are with you and your family and I am sending love, strength, and peace from North Carolina.
    Alona,

  82. Lara Gilmore
    July 24, 2015 / 5:22 am

    I read your story, and I cannot imagine the heartbreak you have endured. I also read this, and find myself saying "I want to have faith like her". I cannot put into words how inspiring it is to read your story, and hear about the peace you have, the closeness you feel with God and the strength that you have. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience, and for being so open. Your little girl has touched my life, and I’m sure so many others’ as well.
    Send love and prayers your way
    xoxo

  83. July 24, 2015 / 5:39 am

    You are an inspiration to all! I am so moved by all that you and your family have endured over these past ten days, and your positive outlook, without a trace of bitterness. Now your darling baby girl is in the arms of Jesus, safe and sound, and free from pain. Bethany, you are a gifted writer, with the ability to convey your emotions in such a way that the reader feels almost as though they are in that hospital room with you. Perhaps one day you will publish a book about this heart-breaking experience for other grieving parents.

  84. July 24, 2015 / 5:39 am

    You are an inspiration to all! I am so moved by all that you and your family have endured over these past ten days, and your positive outlook, without a trace of bitterness. Now your darling baby girl is in the arms of Jesus, safe and sound, and free from pain. Bethany, you are a gifted writer, with the ability to convey your emotions in such a way that the reader feels almost as though they are in that hospital room with you. Perhaps one day you will publish a book about this heart-breaking experience for other grieving parents.

  85. July 24, 2015 / 5:39 am

    You are an inspiration to all! I am so moved by all that you and your family have endured over these past ten days, and your positive outlook, without a trace of bitterness. Now your darling baby girl is in the arms of Jesus, safe and sound, and free from pain. Bethany, you are a gifted writer, with the ability to convey your emotions in such a way that the reader feels almost as though they are in that hospital room with you. Perhaps one day you will publish a book about this heart-breaking experience for other grieving parents.

  86. Pamela Hiemstra
    July 24, 2015 / 6:33 am

    I feel so privileged to have had the opportunity to pray for your family during these last few weeks. As you walk through your journey I will continue. I pray for protection on your hearts, for comfort when the pain feels unbearable, for Gods words of comfort , and for joy when you remember your beautiful little daughter. I know not what you feel but I do know how loved Goldie is and will always be. She is in her full glorious being waiting to reunite one day with you all and until then hold fast to this fact. You and David made a unimaginable decision to free your daughter into Gods arms and that was sacrificial godly love. In my prayers

  87. July 24, 2015 / 11:58 am

    My parents lost three babies at the moment of birth, including the first and only baby boy who stayed alive for five days. We grew up knowing their names, and until this day, we think about them on their birthdays days. There is not other way that they , my parents could have gone trough it without knowing in an intrinsic way about God’s love, God’s will for them and us (me and my sisters are science miracles) I know by being the daughter of a woman that saw their babies died in her arms three times, that you and your family are God’s precious creatures and so special in his hand. He will give you the strength to continue your purpose until that memorable day when you will finally be reunited with her forever.

    "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev. 21.4

    Love
    Sardis.

  88. July 24, 2015 / 11:58 am

    My parents lost three babies at the moment of birth, including the first and only baby boy who stayed alive for five days. We grew up knowing their names, and until this day, we think about them on their birthdays days. There is not other way that they , my parents could have gone trough it without knowing in an intrinsic way about God’s love, God’s will for them and us (me and my sisters are science miracles) I know by being the daughter of a woman that saw their babies died in her arms three times, that you and your family are God’s precious creatures and so special in his hand. He will give you the strength to continue your purpose until that memorable day when you will finally be reunited with her forever.

    "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev. 21.4

    Love
    Sardis.

  89. July 24, 2015 / 11:58 am

    My parents lost three babies at the moment of birth, including the first and only baby boy who stayed alive for five days. We grew up knowing their names, and until this day, we think about them on their birthdays days. There is not other way that they , my parents could have gone trough it without knowing in an intrinsic way about God’s love, God’s will for them and us (me and my sisters are science miracles) I know by being the daughter of a woman that saw their babies died in her arms three times, that you and your family are God’s precious creatures and so special in his hand. He will give you the strength to continue your purpose until that memorable day when you will finally be reunited with her forever.

    "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev. 21.4

    Love
    Sardis.

  90. July 24, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    i absolutely can not imagine all that you have felt and been through, but i am sending love and prayers to your sweet family. you guys seem so strong and faithful to the Lord, and i know goldie’s story will be one that inspires many and helps others going through difficult times! it’s an incredible story that you have shared here and you really honor your sweet goldie with your beautiful writing.

  91. July 24, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    i absolutely can not imagine all that you have felt and been through, but i am sending love and prayers to your sweet family. you guys seem so strong and faithful to the Lord, and i know goldie’s story will be one that inspires many and helps others going through difficult times! it’s an incredible story that you have shared here and you really honor your sweet goldie with your beautiful writing.

  92. July 24, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    i absolutely can not imagine all that you have felt and been through, but i am sending love and prayers to your sweet family. you guys seem so strong and faithful to the Lord, and i know goldie’s story will be one that inspires many and helps others going through difficult times! it’s an incredible story that you have shared here and you really honor your sweet goldie with your beautiful writing.

  93. Lily
    July 24, 2015 / 2:46 pm

    Your perspective is so beautiful, Bethany. My heart broke over and over, reading your story — yet at the same time I couldn’t help but feel your peace and faith. I love that you prayed over Psalm 139. I love that you were holding her while she flew home. It feels wrong to say that I love this post, but I do. Thank you for sharing Goldie’s story. She touched all that knew her or knew of her. Stay golden ?

  94. July 24, 2015 / 4:15 pm

    My deepest and most heartfelt condolences to you and your family. You are all so brave and strong. Little Goldie was so lucky to have you as her mother in her short life. You gave her all the love in the world and I am sure that she felt every last bit of it. You and your family are in my thoughts as you begin the process of healing. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and allowing us to mourn alongside you.

  95. July 24, 2015 / 4:15 pm

    My deepest and most heartfelt condolences to you and your family. You are all so brave and strong. Little Goldie was so lucky to have you as her mother in her short life. You gave her all the love in the world and I am sure that she felt every last bit of it. You and your family are in my thoughts as you begin the process of healing. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and allowing us to mourn alongside you.

  96. July 24, 2015 / 4:15 pm

    My deepest and most heartfelt condolences to you and your family. You are all so brave and strong. Little Goldie was so lucky to have you as her mother in her short life. You gave her all the love in the world and I am sure that she felt every last bit of it. You and your family are in my thoughts as you begin the process of healing. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and allowing us to mourn alongside you.

  97. July 24, 2015 / 4:49 pm

    I am keeping you sweet mama and your family in my prayers. Praying that God’s peace and love will continue to carry you through this time of healing. I have followed your blog for awhile.. you are beautiful and wise. I can’t wait to see all that God continues to do in your life.

  98. July 24, 2015 / 5:18 pm

    I have only been following your instagram for about a month but I want you to know you have been such an inspiration for me. I’m sitting in my office on my lunch break sobbing reading your blog. You and your husband are so strong in your faith and so brave to allow the public into the most intimate of family decisions. Although you are a stranger I have found myself wondering how things have been for you and how you are handling everything. I am praying for your family. How are you healing? Do you have any health issues from labor and delivery?

    I wish I could come through the computer and give you a big hug.

  99. July 24, 2015 / 5:18 pm

    I have only been following your instagram for about a month but I want you to know you have been such an inspiration for me. I’m sitting in my office on my lunch break sobbing reading your blog. You and your husband are so strong in your faith and so brave to allow the public into the most intimate of family decisions. Although you are a stranger I have found myself wondering how things have been for you and how you are handling everything. I am praying for your family. How are you healing? Do you have any health issues from labor and delivery?

    I wish I could come through the computer and give you a big hug.

  100. July 24, 2015 / 5:18 pm

    I have only been following your instagram for about a month but I want you to know you have been such an inspiration for me. I’m sitting in my office on my lunch break sobbing reading your blog. You and your husband are so strong in your faith and so brave to allow the public into the most intimate of family decisions. Although you are a stranger I have found myself wondering how things have been for you and how you are handling everything. I am praying for your family. How are you healing? Do you have any health issues from labor and delivery?

    I wish I could come through the computer and give you a big hug.

  101. July 24, 2015 / 5:49 pm

    Thank you this inspiring message. God is using your family in great ways. From the music of We Are The City to the family ties within. Goldie is like a shooting star; beautiful, a short glimpse of Heaven.
    -Timo and Robyn (Thunder Bay, ON)

  102. July 24, 2015 / 5:49 pm

    Thank you this inspiring message. God is using your family in great ways. From the music of We Are The City to the family ties within. Goldie is like a shooting star; beautiful, a short glimpse of Heaven.
    -Timo and Robyn (Thunder Bay, ON)

  103. July 24, 2015 / 5:49 pm

    Thank you this inspiring message. God is using your family in great ways. From the music of We Are The City to the family ties within. Goldie is like a shooting star; beautiful, a short glimpse of Heaven.
    -Timo and Robyn (Thunder Bay, ON)

  104. July 24, 2015 / 5:52 pm

    Thank you for being so honest and sharing this tough time with everyone. I’m sure that Goldie’s purpose on earth was to help another family transition the same way that you, David and Poppy have had to. It must be so comforting knowing that Goldie is with Jesus, and is probably laughing with joy right now.
    I also believe that you’re allowed to tell people that you have 2 children. What a useful tool to be able to share the gospel and love of Jesus with someone, explaining about Goldie in Heaven. Love and blessings to your all Bethany. Your story will be put to good use in this hard world, I’m sure.

  105. July 24, 2015 / 5:52 pm

    Thank you for being so honest and sharing this tough time with everyone. I’m sure that Goldie’s purpose on earth was to help another family transition the same way that you, David and Poppy have had to. It must be so comforting knowing that Goldie is with Jesus, and is probably laughing with joy right now.
    I also believe that you’re allowed to tell people that you have 2 children. What a useful tool to be able to share the gospel and love of Jesus with someone, explaining about Goldie in Heaven. Love and blessings to your all Bethany. Your story will be put to good use in this hard world, I’m sure.

  106. July 24, 2015 / 5:52 pm

    Thank you for being so honest and sharing this tough time with everyone. I’m sure that Goldie’s purpose on earth was to help another family transition the same way that you, David and Poppy have had to. It must be so comforting knowing that Goldie is with Jesus, and is probably laughing with joy right now.
    I also believe that you’re allowed to tell people that you have 2 children. What a useful tool to be able to share the gospel and love of Jesus with someone, explaining about Goldie in Heaven. Love and blessings to your all Bethany. Your story will be put to good use in this hard world, I’m sure.

  107. July 24, 2015 / 11:31 pm

    I can’t even imagine…except I can, a little, and it’s heartbreaking. But to know the comfort of Heaven as Home! My prayers are with you, and I think of little Goldie walking on the streets of gold with Jesus…there is nothing ‘fairy-tale’ about that to me…in fact, I can’t think of anything more real.
    Bless you all, and I’m sorry she couldn’t stay longer. She is beautiful.

  108. July 24, 2015 / 11:31 pm

    I can’t even imagine…except I can, a little, and it’s heartbreaking. But to know the comfort of Heaven as Home! My prayers are with you, and I think of little Goldie walking on the streets of gold with Jesus…there is nothing ‘fairy-tale’ about that to me…in fact, I can’t think of anything more real.
    Bless you all, and I’m sorry she couldn’t stay longer. She is beautiful.

  109. July 24, 2015 / 11:31 pm

    I can’t even imagine…except I can, a little, and it’s heartbreaking. But to know the comfort of Heaven as Home! My prayers are with you, and I think of little Goldie walking on the streets of gold with Jesus…there is nothing ‘fairy-tale’ about that to me…in fact, I can’t think of anything more real.
    Bless you all, and I’m sorry she couldn’t stay longer. She is beautiful.

  110. July 25, 2015 / 12:04 am

    Thinking of you and yours as you proceed in time and mourning. All of my best wishes for peace and love.

  111. July 25, 2015 / 12:04 am

    Thinking of you and yours as you proceed in time and mourning. All of my best wishes for peace and love.

  112. July 25, 2015 / 12:04 am

    Thinking of you and yours as you proceed in time and mourning. All of my best wishes for peace and love.

  113. July 25, 2015 / 7:49 am

    Your family is still in our prayers <3 We are touched beyond words by your example of strength and hope and rest in Christ alone.

  114. July 25, 2015 / 7:49 am

    Your family is still in our prayers <3 We are touched beyond words by your example of strength and hope and rest in Christ alone.

  115. July 25, 2015 / 7:49 am

    Your family is still in our prayers <3 We are touched beyond words by your example of strength and hope and rest in Christ alone.

  116. July 25, 2015 / 8:34 pm

    Oh Bethany, I am praying for you and your husband as a mother who has been exactly where you are and who has also lost a little girl. There are absolutely no words but there is comfort in knowing that Gods plan is beyond comprehension and his love for us is eternal. What a sweet and precious little life Goldie led! How extremely blessed you are to be her mother and share her story! All the love, Kathleen

  117. July 25, 2015 / 8:34 pm

    Oh Bethany, I am praying for you and your husband as a mother who has been exactly where you are and who has also lost a little girl. There are absolutely no words but there is comfort in knowing that Gods plan is beyond comprehension and his love for us is eternal. What a sweet and precious little life Goldie led! How extremely blessed you are to be her mother and share her story! All the love, Kathleen

  118. July 25, 2015 / 8:34 pm

    Oh Bethany, I am praying for you and your husband as a mother who has been exactly where you are and who has also lost a little girl. There are absolutely no words but there is comfort in knowing that Gods plan is beyond comprehension and his love for us is eternal. What a sweet and precious little life Goldie led! How extremely blessed you are to be her mother and share her story! All the love, Kathleen

  119. Michelle
    July 25, 2015 / 9:12 pm

    I am so terribly sorry you and your family’s loss.

    http://www.missfoundation.org

    You may find some comfort from this incredible organization.

  120. B
    July 25, 2015 / 9:12 pm

    I came across this post and my heart breaks for your family. This is however one of the truly most uplifting words to read on the power of life and the purpose God has for us all. We are here to teach one another how to love, how to share it, and how to spread God’s message. Your little angel has done that it seems. And her message has even touched this stranger who never once met her. God bless! And may he heal your hurting hearts <3

  121. Callie
    July 26, 2015 / 4:50 am

    my heart aches reading this post, but your faith is so very inspiring. I am blessed so much by you as my sister in Christ, your words give life and peace. I am praying for His overwhelming comfort over you and your beautiful family. Rest with your abba sweet Goldie, sweet precious Goldie.

  122. July 27, 2015 / 1:02 am

    Our mutual friend Joti shared your post with me. I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Your daughter was so precious… 10 days is not enough time with her. No parent should ever have to endure what you are going through. I pray that God will hold you through the coming months as you grieve and learn how to live in your new "normal."

    "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

    …I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." – Romans 8

  123. July 27, 2015 / 1:02 am

    Our mutual friend Joti shared your post with me. I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Your daughter was so precious… 10 days is not enough time with her. No parent should ever have to endure what you are going through. I pray that God will hold you through the coming months as you grieve and learn how to live in your new "normal."

    "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

    …I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." – Romans 8

  124. July 27, 2015 / 1:02 am

    Our mutual friend Joti shared your post with me. I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Your daughter was so precious… 10 days is not enough time with her. No parent should ever have to endure what you are going through. I pray that God will hold you through the coming months as you grieve and learn how to live in your new "normal."

    "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

    …I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." – Romans 8

  125. July 28, 2015 / 12:04 am

    This brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been following you for a while and it breaks my heart that you and David and Poppy had to endure such pain, but it is incredible how much you lean on your faith in God knowing that Goldie is right where she belongs. Prayers will continue to go up for your family and for sweet little Goldie Bloom. xo

  126. July 28, 2015 / 12:04 am

    This brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been following you for a while and it breaks my heart that you and David and Poppy had to endure such pain, but it is incredible how much you lean on your faith in God knowing that Goldie is right where she belongs. Prayers will continue to go up for your family and for sweet little Goldie Bloom. xo

  127. July 28, 2015 / 12:04 am

    This brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been following you for a while and it breaks my heart that you and David and Poppy had to endure such pain, but it is incredible how much you lean on your faith in God knowing that Goldie is right where she belongs. Prayers will continue to go up for your family and for sweet little Goldie Bloom. xo

  128. July 28, 2015 / 11:10 am

    Dear Bethany and family,

    I’ve been thinking about you for the past few days, hoping that this blog wouldn’t come online. I’ve been reading it with tears in my eyes and a broken heart in my chest. I think you are so brave for sharing this story with us and for the way you handle this extremely painful and hard situation. It’s beautifull to see how very, very, loved this precious little Goldie is. Words can not express how sorry I am for you. I wish you all the strenght, love and courage in the world. Eventhough we don’t know each other, I know that Goldie and her family will stay in my head an heart forever.

  129. July 28, 2015 / 11:10 am

    Dear Bethany and family,

    I’ve been thinking about you for the past few days, hoping that this blog wouldn’t come online. I’ve been reading it with tears in my eyes and a broken heart in my chest. I think you are so brave for sharing this story with us and for the way you handle this extremely painful and hard situation. It’s beautifull to see how very, very, loved this precious little Goldie is. Words can not express how sorry I am for you. I wish you all the strenght, love and courage in the world. Eventhough we don’t know each other, I know that Goldie and her family will stay in my head an heart forever.

  130. July 28, 2015 / 11:10 am

    Dear Bethany and family,

    I’ve been thinking about you for the past few days, hoping that this blog wouldn’t come online. I’ve been reading it with tears in my eyes and a broken heart in my chest. I think you are so brave for sharing this story with us and for the way you handle this extremely painful and hard situation. It’s beautifull to see how very, very, loved this precious little Goldie is. Words can not express how sorry I am for you. I wish you all the strenght, love and courage in the world. Eventhough we don’t know each other, I know that Goldie and her family will stay in my head an heart forever.

  131. July 28, 2015 / 9:35 pm

    You and your beautiful family are complete strangers to me, but have been in my prayers for the last 10 days. I truly do not think I’ve prayed harder for a tiny human being and her family to find peace and comfort than I have for you all. God blessed you with an angel and although you didn’t have much time with her on this Earth, she will always be with you and watching over you. I am terribly sorry for the loss and pain you and your family are going through. I hope that through all of this, you and your family can find the strength to carry on in this big world. May God carry you, your husband, and daughter high on his shoulders when you’re feeling weak and down. You continue to be a part of my prayers. Goldie was beautiful and blessed to have such a wonderful family! I thank God she is no longer suffering and in pain. God gained an angel.

  132. July 28, 2015 / 9:35 pm

    You and your beautiful family are complete strangers to me, but have been in my prayers for the last 10 days. I truly do not think I’ve prayed harder for a tiny human being and her family to find peace and comfort than I have for you all. God blessed you with an angel and although you didn’t have much time with her on this Earth, she will always be with you and watching over you. I am terribly sorry for the loss and pain you and your family are going through. I hope that through all of this, you and your family can find the strength to carry on in this big world. May God carry you, your husband, and daughter high on his shoulders when you’re feeling weak and down. You continue to be a part of my prayers. Goldie was beautiful and blessed to have such a wonderful family! I thank God she is no longer suffering and in pain. God gained an angel.

  133. July 28, 2015 / 9:35 pm

    You and your beautiful family are complete strangers to me, but have been in my prayers for the last 10 days. I truly do not think I’ve prayed harder for a tiny human being and her family to find peace and comfort than I have for you all. God blessed you with an angel and although you didn’t have much time with her on this Earth, she will always be with you and watching over you. I am terribly sorry for the loss and pain you and your family are going through. I hope that through all of this, you and your family can find the strength to carry on in this big world. May God carry you, your husband, and daughter high on his shoulders when you’re feeling weak and down. You continue to be a part of my prayers. Goldie was beautiful and blessed to have such a wonderful family! I thank God she is no longer suffering and in pain. God gained an angel.

  134. July 29, 2015 / 3:34 am

    My heart breaks for you and your sweet sweet family. You are such a strong momma and I hope to have the courage and strength you have shown someday. May you find peace and happiness soon.

    Kendyl Yorba

  135. July 29, 2015 / 3:34 am

    My heart breaks for you and your sweet sweet family. You are such a strong momma and I hope to have the courage and strength you have shown someday. May you find peace and happiness soon.

    Kendyl Yorba

  136. July 29, 2015 / 3:34 am

    My heart breaks for you and your sweet sweet family. You are such a strong momma and I hope to have the courage and strength you have shown someday. May you find peace and happiness soon.

    Kendyl Yorba

  137. July 29, 2015 / 11:02 am

    I cried. You are such a strong woman! Jesus loves you and your familie so much!
    It is heartbreaking. But I pray God will heal your hearts and fill it with joy, love and peace.

    You’re in my prayers.
    Love, Sharon

  138. July 29, 2015 / 11:02 am

    I cried. You are such a strong woman! Jesus loves you and your familie so much!
    It is heartbreaking. But I pray God will heal your hearts and fill it with joy, love and peace.

    You’re in my prayers.
    Love, Sharon

  139. July 29, 2015 / 11:02 am

    I cried. You are such a strong woman! Jesus loves you and your familie so much!
    It is heartbreaking. But I pray God will heal your hearts and fill it with joy, love and peace.

    You’re in my prayers.
    Love, Sharon

  140. July 29, 2015 / 5:09 pm

    I continue to pray….. Your family’s loss has gripped my heart so intensely. I carry pain for another mama I don’t even know. Please Heavenly Father, hold her so near, I just keep repeating over and over. I cannot find any other words of comfort for you. I can only pray this simple prayer. I do know the power of prayer is, in fact, the most amazing thing and God is listening. He is there for you. Stay strong!

  141. July 29, 2015 / 5:09 pm

    I continue to pray….. Your family’s loss has gripped my heart so intensely. I carry pain for another mama I don’t even know. Please Heavenly Father, hold her so near, I just keep repeating over and over. I cannot find any other words of comfort for you. I can only pray this simple prayer. I do know the power of prayer is, in fact, the most amazing thing and God is listening. He is there for you. Stay strong!

  142. July 29, 2015 / 5:09 pm

    I continue to pray….. Your family’s loss has gripped my heart so intensely. I carry pain for another mama I don’t even know. Please Heavenly Father, hold her so near, I just keep repeating over and over. I cannot find any other words of comfort for you. I can only pray this simple prayer. I do know the power of prayer is, in fact, the most amazing thing and God is listening. He is there for you. Stay strong!

  143. Joanna
    July 29, 2015 / 5:55 pm

    bethany. thank you for sharing the inner most deepest part of your heart with absolute strangers. you and your family’s faith in christ is exactly what this world needs and i am so encouraged to see it in action. i am so sorry for your loss but i too believe that goldie is with her heavenly father, free from pain and made completely perfect.

    i believe that god does grieve with us. so i hope that in this time of grieving you all will be comforted by the only one who truly understands our hearts. i know most of us have never gone what you have gone through, but please know that we all have a gaping hole in hearts as we cry along with you.

    you will never forget, but know that god will make you both whole again. praying for peace and comfort during this time.

  144. July 30, 2015 / 7:05 pm

    Sending you and your family so much love. Goldie is so lucky to have such an incredible mama and papa. Xx

  145. August 1, 2015 / 7:16 pm

    Sending love to your family. You are amazing. There are no right words to say at times like this, all of them are unnecessary, but our hope and thoughts are with you, guys. Be strong

  146. August 1, 2015 / 7:16 pm

    Sending love to your family. You are amazing. There are no right words to say at times like this, all of them are unnecessary, but our hope and thoughts are with you, guys. Be strong

  147. August 1, 2015 / 7:16 pm

    Sending love to your family. You are amazing. There are no right words to say at times like this, all of them are unnecessary, but our hope and thoughts are with you, guys. Be strong

  148. Kara
    August 2, 2015 / 2:41 am

    I sobbed through this. Sending you all so, so much love. You are absolutely amazing, and your faith in The Lord is incredible and encouraging and I wish more people would place their trust in Him the way you did. He knows what He’s doing, and He never left Goldie’s side. He won’t leave your side as you grieve for your precious baby girl. Baby Goldie is free from pain, safe in His arms. I’m praying hard for our Heavenly Father to comfort you and bring you peace during this difficult time.

    Stay strong, Bethany <3

  149. August 4, 2015 / 2:24 am

    I cannot imagine this. My heart breaks for you and I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers. Thank you for boldly sharing your story. Keep the faith.

  150. August 4, 2015 / 2:24 am

    I cannot imagine this. My heart breaks for you and I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers. Thank you for boldly sharing your story. Keep the faith.

  151. August 4, 2015 / 2:24 am

    I cannot imagine this. My heart breaks for you and I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers. Thank you for boldly sharing your story. Keep the faith.

  152. August 5, 2015 / 7:32 am

    I am deeply sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing and showing me a more positive way of looking at loss. You’re so strong and have made me feel proud of someone I don’t even know. Thinking of you at this hard time. Congratulations on meeting your beautiful angel xx

  153. August 5, 2015 / 7:32 am

    I am deeply sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing and showing me a more positive way of looking at loss. You’re so strong and have made me feel proud of someone I don’t even know. Thinking of you at this hard time. Congratulations on meeting your beautiful angel xx

  154. August 5, 2015 / 7:32 am

    I am deeply sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing and showing me a more positive way of looking at loss. You’re so strong and have made me feel proud of someone I don’t even know. Thinking of you at this hard time. Congratulations on meeting your beautiful angel xx

  155. August 5, 2015 / 8:11 am

    My son was born early with a very rare heart arrhythmia that was undiagnosed during my pregnancy. He was in the NICU for 5 days before passing away and your story brings back so many memories, some painful, but mostly the peace we also felt when we knew our son was now in heaven with his Father, free from all the pain of this world. Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful story of your sweet baby girl Goldie. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, that you feel peace and love and hope and comfort in the midst of this heart breaking time in your lives.

  156. August 5, 2015 / 8:11 am

    My son was born early with a very rare heart arrhythmia that was undiagnosed during my pregnancy. He was in the NICU for 5 days before passing away and your story brings back so many memories, some painful, but mostly the peace we also felt when we knew our son was now in heaven with his Father, free from all the pain of this world. Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful story of your sweet baby girl Goldie. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, that you feel peace and love and hope and comfort in the midst of this heart breaking time in your lives.

  157. August 5, 2015 / 8:11 am

    My son was born early with a very rare heart arrhythmia that was undiagnosed during my pregnancy. He was in the NICU for 5 days before passing away and your story brings back so many memories, some painful, but mostly the peace we also felt when we knew our son was now in heaven with his Father, free from all the pain of this world. Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful story of your sweet baby girl Goldie. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, that you feel peace and love and hope and comfort in the midst of this heart breaking time in your lives.

  158. briony Ellis
    August 5, 2015 / 9:12 am

    I read this with tears streaming down my face, I have been following you for a few years now as you share your life through social media. It is so amazing the power of God and how He uses people, just as He used Goldie, to altar and influence your lives in the supernatural. He has been transforming the natural, as you journey, we have journeyed with you. God has been using your vulnerability, honesty and faith to speak into, inspire and encourage others; to boldly step out in faith they way you and your husband have in this difficult time. As you continue to blog and share the highs and the lows, you continue to fulfil God’s purpose for your life. By your courage it is altering the hearts and lives of those who read. I am Sending all my love to you and your family all the way from New Zealand. "You set your treasures in jars of clay, so take this heart Lord ill be your vessel, the world to see your love in me." – Hillsong

  159. Jordan
    August 5, 2015 / 5:49 pm

    I just came across Goldie’s story today. Wow, how incredible and powerful. And how wonderful that your family is able to praise the Lord even through what seems like the darkest, hardest of storms. I will be praying for you and your family. That you continue to feel peace, comfort, joy, love – especially on the really hard days of heartache and grief.

  160. Bry Peterson
    August 9, 2015 / 6:22 am

    I can’t even imagine! Your words are such a strength to us all. Prayers are with you!

  161. August 10, 2015 / 5:35 pm

    I am reading your emotional journey and crying for all you had to go through and endure in the last couple of weeks. I cannot image how broken your heart is right now, even though I don’t know you, I want to wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug!! My heart goes out to your family.

  162. August 10, 2015 / 5:35 pm

    I am reading your emotional journey and crying for all you had to go through and endure in the last couple of weeks. I cannot image how broken your heart is right now, even though I don’t know you, I want to wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug!! My heart goes out to your family.

  163. August 10, 2015 / 5:35 pm

    I am reading your emotional journey and crying for all you had to go through and endure in the last couple of weeks. I cannot image how broken your heart is right now, even though I don’t know you, I want to wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug!! My heart goes out to your family.

  164. August 11, 2015 / 5:56 am

    Still read this entry again and again from time to time. Your strength and peace in God is so inspiring. We won’t forget about Goldie either. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  165. Raquel from Portugal
    August 15, 2015 / 10:12 pm

    Dear Bethany. No words can express how sorry i am. Thank you for sharing this personal thoughts with everyone that follows you.
    Thank you for being that strong and faithful woman. Thank you for inspiring me. I wish I had your faith and your strength. I wish you comfort and peace through this difficult time . To you and to your beautiful family… all the best <3

  166. Barbara
    August 15, 2015 / 11:35 pm

    As a mother, my heart goes out to you. No matter what the circumstances are, losing a child is something as a mother you hope to never have to go through. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

  167. August 27, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    I’m writing this through tears and tears of hurt and sadness for you all. I am a mother of two girls, the youngest has just turned 4 months now. She lays next to me now in her basinet asleep, snoring, precious. You are so strong, so brave. I don’t really know what to say after reading this but I just want you to know that your journey has changed me, I know it. It should go without saying that I appreciate and am thankful beyond words for my girls, but reading about Goldie and her family, I will have more love and appreciation for them than I ever felt I did! For Goldie.

  168. August 27, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    I’m writing this through tears and tears of hurt and sadness for you all. I am a mother of two girls, the youngest has just turned 4 months now. She lays next to me now in her basinet asleep, snoring, precious. You are so strong, so brave. I don’t really know what to say after reading this but I just want you to know that your journey has changed me, I know it. It should go without saying that I appreciate and am thankful beyond words for my girls, but reading about Goldie and her family, I will have more love and appreciation for them than I ever felt I did! For Goldie.

  169. August 27, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    I’m writing this through tears and tears of hurt and sadness for you all. I am a mother of two girls, the youngest has just turned 4 months now. She lays next to me now in her basinet asleep, snoring, precious. You are so strong, so brave. I don’t really know what to say after reading this but I just want you to know that your journey has changed me, I know it. It should go without saying that I appreciate and am thankful beyond words for my girls, but reading about Goldie and her family, I will have more love and appreciation for them than I ever felt I did! For Goldie.

  170. JLB
    September 5, 2015 / 2:44 am

    I stumbled upon your blog through Instagram, and then found your story about your precious Goldie. I read it all, through tears. From one mom to another, I can’t imagine your loss. But I do know our God is good, He is sovereign and He takes care of His children. I will be praying for your family, that you feel much peace, joy and healing in the months to come!

  171. September 10, 2015 / 4:08 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story; Goldie Bloom’s beautiful story. May God be glorified and Jesus be honored. May the Holy Spirit be your comforter. Always.

  172. September 10, 2015 / 4:08 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story; Goldie Bloom’s beautiful story. May God be glorified and Jesus be honored. May the Holy Spirit be your comforter. Always.

  173. September 10, 2015 / 4:08 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story; Goldie Bloom’s beautiful story. May God be glorified and Jesus be honored. May the Holy Spirit be your comforter. Always.

  174. Jetty Rae
    September 11, 2015 / 2:43 am

    Heart is so touched, and broken by sweet Goldie’s life. I will think of her when I see or hear that name…I am so sorry that you both must learn to walk this life without her by your side. You have hope, but the bitterness of death must wait to be healed. Sending love

  175. Cayc
    September 11, 2015 / 9:58 am

    I came across your blog through Instagram & reading this, I cannot stop the tears. They just keep pouring. I gave birth to a baby girl only 5 days before you & my heart feels so broken for you. This has really hit me. You are such an inspiration & the strongest mother out there. I have such high respect for you. Rest In Peace precious Goldie & condolences to you and your family x x

  176. September 11, 2015 / 10:10 am

    I am sitting in my lounge room in tears reading your post… I had a friend go through a similar experience 2 years ago and never knew the right thing to say to her… I never understood what she and her husband went through… I know you are different people and she may not have reacted exactly the same way as you but thank you for writing such a beautiful and clear piece on the loss of your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss.

  177. September 11, 2015 / 10:10 am

    I am sitting in my lounge room in tears reading your post… I had a friend go through a similar experience 2 years ago and never knew the right thing to say to her… I never understood what she and her husband went through… I know you are different people and she may not have reacted exactly the same way as you but thank you for writing such a beautiful and clear piece on the loss of your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss.

  178. September 11, 2015 / 10:10 am

    I am sitting in my lounge room in tears reading your post… I had a friend go through a similar experience 2 years ago and never knew the right thing to say to her… I never understood what she and her husband went through… I know you are different people and she may not have reacted exactly the same way as you but thank you for writing such a beautiful and clear piece on the loss of your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss.

  179. Abby Dunlop
    September 24, 2015 / 10:59 pm

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful, cherished daughter. You and your family are so brave and it’s incredible that you can view this experience as you do at such an early stage. Life can be unfair and cruel. Your story is hard to read, yet you have captured it beautifully. Sleep tight Goldie, you are very loved xx

  180. Nicole Spartis
    September 30, 2015 / 3:20 am

    I follow you on Instagram and my heart has been broken for your family since I read the news. Only today was I able to read your blog post and I have never been so overwhelmed with emotion reading anything in my 31 years. As a mother my heart breaks for you so deeply, but I am so in awe of your faith and strength. Thank you for sharing your story…you are such an inspiration. Much love and many prayers.

  181. Brittany whatley
    October 1, 2015 / 4:30 pm

    As a mother my heart breaks for you and your family. Your faith in the Lord makes my heart filled with joy and I admire you! Bless you and your days ahead. Thank you for sharing your story and your faith!

  182. Lauren
    October 12, 2015 / 3:47 am

    My daughter was in a similar situation at birth. We are about to celebrate her first birthday, and every day since she came home from the NICU, I’ve thought about the mothers who did not get to bring their babies home. My heart is with you every single day, at least for a moment. Thank you for your beautiful, inspiring story.

  183. October 14, 2015 / 9:38 pm

    I am weeping for you and these moments you never imagined for yourself. I share a similar memory and I pray that, in a couple of years, we can also share the healing that God gives. I’m so sorry for the loss and the sad memories of Goldie’s short life… But praise God for the promise of eternity. Love to you three. (And she will always be the fourth member of your family!) 🙂 xo

  184. October 14, 2015 / 9:38 pm

    I am weeping for you and these moments you never imagined for yourself. I share a similar memory and I pray that, in a couple of years, we can also share the healing that God gives. I’m so sorry for the loss and the sad memories of Goldie’s short life… But praise God for the promise of eternity. Love to you three. (And she will always be the fourth member of your family!) 🙂 xo

  185. October 14, 2015 / 9:38 pm

    I am weeping for you and these moments you never imagined for yourself. I share a similar memory and I pray that, in a couple of years, we can also share the healing that God gives. I’m so sorry for the loss and the sad memories of Goldie’s short life… But praise God for the promise of eternity. Love to you three. (And she will always be the fourth member of your family!) 🙂 xo

  186. October 21, 2015 / 9:09 am

    I don’t know how exactly it is that I came to stumble across your blog, but I think I was compelled to. Your faith is endlessly inspiring, and your heart and overall essence radiates so brightly… I’m eighteen years old and in college now, and it’s been about fourteen years since I lost my little sister due to still birth. You and my mother are so strong and so admirable. I can’t fathom your exact situation, but if it’s any consolation, I promise time will mend broken hearts in unremarkable ways. You and your family are beautiful in every possible way. Sending my love from Arizona State University.. Xoxo

  187. October 21, 2015 / 9:09 am

    I don’t know how exactly it is that I came to stumble across your blog, but I think I was compelled to. Your faith is endlessly inspiring, and your heart and overall essence radiates so brightly… I’m eighteen years old and in college now, and it’s been about fourteen years since I lost my little sister due to still birth. You and my mother are so strong and so admirable. I can’t fathom your exact situation, but if it’s any consolation, I promise time will mend broken hearts in unremarkable ways. You and your family are beautiful in every possible way. Sending my love from Arizona State University.. Xoxo

  188. October 21, 2015 / 9:09 am

    I don’t know how exactly it is that I came to stumble across your blog, but I think I was compelled to. Your faith is endlessly inspiring, and your heart and overall essence radiates so brightly… I’m eighteen years old and in college now, and it’s been about fourteen years since I lost my little sister due to still birth. You and my mother are so strong and so admirable. I can’t fathom your exact situation, but if it’s any consolation, I promise time will mend broken hearts in unremarkable ways. You and your family are beautiful in every possible way. Sending my love from Arizona State University.. Xoxo

  189. November 11, 2015 / 6:57 am

    She surely is released from all that sickness and back at home with our loving Heavenly Father. For you to overcome such a difficult trial with humility and grace strengthens me as a mother. When you said that you would pray not only for a healthy body but in the way God intended for her to be and to serve her purpose, reading that literally made me gasp for air. I dont think I could have such faith and courage to ask that of Him. But you did. You are so strong. Sending my warmest aloha and love from Hawaii and New Zealand to your beautiful family. Xo

  190. November 11, 2015 / 6:57 am

    She surely is released from all that sickness and back at home with our loving Heavenly Father. For you to overcome such a difficult trial with humility and grace strengthens me as a mother. When you said that you would pray not only for a healthy body but in the way God intended for her to be and to serve her purpose, reading that literally made me gasp for air. I dont think I could have such faith and courage to ask that of Him. But you did. You are so strong. Sending my warmest aloha and love from Hawaii and New Zealand to your beautiful family. Xo

  191. November 11, 2015 / 6:57 am

    She surely is released from all that sickness and back at home with our loving Heavenly Father. For you to overcome such a difficult trial with humility and grace strengthens me as a mother. When you said that you would pray not only for a healthy body but in the way God intended for her to be and to serve her purpose, reading that literally made me gasp for air. I dont think I could have such faith and courage to ask that of Him. But you did. You are so strong. Sending my warmest aloha and love from Hawaii and New Zealand to your beautiful family. Xo

  192. November 25, 2015 / 9:56 pm

    I just came across your beautiful story and am so touched. I am a first time mother to the sweetest boy who sometimes despite my greatest efforts gives me such a run for my money as his mother I feel worn down completely. The tradgity and strength of your beautiful family helped put life in perspective it its most simple form. You are an incredibly inspiring mother with a story of love and motherhood that is sure to strengthen so many who hear it. Thank you for sharing such a volnurable and real experience, you have given me an uplifting reminder of the immense gift it is to be a mother.

  193. November 25, 2015 / 9:56 pm

    I just came across your beautiful story and am so touched. I am a first time mother to the sweetest boy who sometimes despite my greatest efforts gives me such a run for my money as his mother I feel worn down completely. The tradgity and strength of your beautiful family helped put life in perspective it its most simple form. You are an incredibly inspiring mother with a story of love and motherhood that is sure to strengthen so many who hear it. Thank you for sharing such a volnurable and real experience, you have given me an uplifting reminder of the immense gift it is to be a mother.

  194. November 25, 2015 / 9:56 pm

    I just came across your beautiful story and am so touched. I am a first time mother to the sweetest boy who sometimes despite my greatest efforts gives me such a run for my money as his mother I feel worn down completely. The tradgity and strength of your beautiful family helped put life in perspective it its most simple form. You are an incredibly inspiring mother with a story of love and motherhood that is sure to strengthen so many who hear it. Thank you for sharing such a volnurable and real experience, you have given me an uplifting reminder of the immense gift it is to be a mother.

  195. Karen
    July 7, 2016 / 6:59 am

    I came across your post as I am laying in bed at 36 weeks pregnant. You, as a family, are incredibly strong. I work in the health care field and no death is ever easy, let alone a child you have waited to meet for 9 months. Your story touches my heart in so many ways. It makes me stop and remind myself to be thankful, thankful for the time we have together, despite the length of time it may have been. Thank you so very much for sharing your challenges, your lows and your highs. I imagine there will be any any different challenges my husband and I will face as first time parents. Your story reminds me no matter how big or small, together with God, your family can make it. Thank you again for sharing such a heartbreaking yet humbling experience… so happy I came across it.

  196. July 18, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    It’s all just so real still. I’m dwelling in my pain and tears and remembering this all so clearly. I miss her so much. Remembering and grieving with you.

  197. July 18, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    It’s all just so real still. I’m dwelling in my pain and tears and remembering this all so clearly. I miss her so much. Remembering and grieving with you.

  198. July 18, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    It’s all just so real still. I’m dwelling in my pain and tears and remembering this all so clearly. I miss her so much. Remembering and grieving with you.

  199. Sarah
    August 5, 2016 / 5:11 am

    I came across your blog through Instagram and cannot imagine how difficult of a situation that would’ve been. My thoughts are with your family. You’re so strong ❤️

  200. Julia
    September 21, 2016 / 4:55 am

    Hey i came across your Blog because i wanted to know what has happened to Goldie when u gave birth to her.

    It is so impressive to see how u were able to deal with it.

    I’m 25 years old and my Father died at an age of 54 3 months ago due to blood cancer. I am not able at all to see what purpose god might have had to take him away from us.

    Everything seemed to be okay and within one Week his condition got worse. We miss him every Second more than we could tell and i completely lost my faith to god.
    My Father was the best Person i have ever known and to See my mum so heartbroken is nothing i thought i would ever Go through. I can’t image that there could be any purpose for god to let this happen.

    I wish u all the best for your pregnancy and i am so happy for you. Some Kind i could Imagine that god sent you this Rainbow Baby because u endured so much pain the last year even if for me there is no god any longer.

  201. December 22, 2016 / 6:18 am

    Reading this for the second time filled my eyes with tears, as I feel so much hope, comfort, encouragement and faith moving forward after losing my baby girl xo

  202. December 22, 2016 / 6:18 am

    Reading this for the second time filled my eyes with tears, as I feel so much hope, comfort, encouragement and faith moving forward after losing my baby girl xo

  203. December 22, 2016 / 6:18 am

    Reading this for the second time filled my eyes with tears, as I feel so much hope, comfort, encouragement and faith moving forward after losing my baby girl xo

  204. April 13, 2017 / 3:00 pm

    I am first tie visitor on your blog and I am really enjoying your posts! I appreciate your tribute to your little Goldie. I am at the tail end of my first pregnancy and I could never imagine what is was like to go through this but I really do love how beautifully you expressed it. I can’t wait to continue to read as your family lives and grows, all while carrying this little one in your hearts.

  205. April 13, 2017 / 3:00 pm

    I am first tie visitor on your blog and I am really enjoying your posts! I appreciate your tribute to your little Goldie. I am at the tail end of my first pregnancy and I could never imagine what is was like to go through this but I really do love how beautifully you expressed it. I can’t wait to continue to read as your family lives and grows, all while carrying this little one in your hearts.